If You Ask Me To
by xJanzx
Summary: The final sequel to 'Let Go' and 'Before The Goodbye'. The first story was set in early 2009 when Ronnie sold her half of the club to Jack to start a new life in Ibiza, but eight months after their final goodbye a surprise visitor arrives in the Sqaure
1. Chapter 1

**If You Ask Me To**

It was another November night in Albert Square, the darkened streets were empty and void of any type of noise. Everything was still and silent. A red glow surrounded the epicentre of the Square, illuminating it so that the shadows slinked away into the darkness. A blonde woman carefully stepped out of a stationary black cab and handed the driver a fistful of crisp notes. She sucked in a deep breath and, with trembling hands, pushed open the double doors of the Queen Victoria Pub.

Her eyes swept over the balloons and birthday banner strung up over the bar and the smiling, glowing faces of the punters. She fixed her stare on the man serving drinks, a face that she wanted to forget more than anything, to never see again, but here she was. Again. "Is this a private party or can anyone join in?"

Every face in the pub stared at the woman as a shocked silence descended over them. _I've never seen this place so quiet._

"Something I said?" The woman asked nonchalantly, stepping towards the bar.

"Ronnie!" Roxy exclaimed, snapping out of her shocked stupor and rushing towards her sister. "Where've-why, when did you- you're pregnant?" The questions tumbled out of her mouth half formed, her words running into each other.

Ronnie nodded. "Yeah," she replied, quietly. "Why don't we go upstairs, eh? We can talk there, yeah?"

Roxy nodded eagerly as she followed her sister up to the living area.

"Phil mind the bar, sweetheart," Peggy told her eldest son, who was still gobsmacked, as she too followed her nieces.

"Where've you been, Ron?" Her sister asked, the emotion evident in her voice, as they both entered the living room. Roxy couldn't take her eyes of her sister, she looked so different – her hair was longer and she was glowing with pride and joy.

"Ibiza mainly," Ronnie replied, sitting down on the sofa and resting her hands across her stomach. They both turned around when they heard their aunt come into the living room.

"Oh darling," Peggy gushed, embracing Ronnie. "Oh, look at you, aren't you a picture? How far along are you?"

"Thirty four weeks." Ronnie smiled, "I'll get to meet this little one soon."

"They let you fly when you're nine months gone?"

Ronnie didn't look at her sister, instead she changed the topic of conversation. "Anyway, today's not about me, where's that little niece of mine? I got her a present for her birthday and I er . . . wanted to see her."

"Ah, she's beautiful, an absolute treasure, she's sleeping now," Peggy answered, a proud smile on her face.

"Oh right, that's okay."

Roxy couldn't believe her older sister was here, just sitting in the living room as though she'd been gone the length of a couple of hours, not nine months. _How can she pretend that nothing has happened? That everything's fine? And where the hell has she been all this time?_

"You didn't answer my question," Roxy stated, clearly agitated about something.

"What?"

"Roxy, darlin', you're sister's just got here, why don't we-"

"No!" Roxy exclaimed. "Don't lie to me, Ronnie-"

"That's rich coming from you." Both sisters were silent for a moment, before Ronnie spoke once again. "I'm trying here, Roxy, I'm _really_ trying-"

"If that were true, then where were the phone calls, the letters, telling us you were okay? You just upped and left one day without telling us, we were going out of our minds with worry – how d'you think that made us feel?"

There had been so many nights Roxy lay awake, long after everyone else had fallen into a slumber, just staring into the darkness. And then she'd hear a noise, quickly dart downstairs, thinking her sister was trying to get in, thinking she'd come back to her. But she never did. And only in those moments did Roxy finally realise what Ronnie had gone through with her.

"What – your precious father not tell you?" Ronnie enquired, the venom seeping from her voice.


	2. Chapter 2

Roxy was struck dumb by her sister's question for a moment. _What's she talking about? What is her problem with dad, he's been nothing but good to her and she just throws it back in his face, everything he does, it's never enough for her – there's always got to be an ulterior motive!_

"What?"

Ronnie cocked her head to the side slightly, a small smile on her lips. "He knew I was leaving, we even said our goodbyes – didn't he tell you?"

"Nah," Roxy replied, shaking her head, refusing to believe what Ronnie was saying. "He wouldn't do that."

"Wouldn't he?" Their blue eyes locked together in a silent battle that Roxy knew she had no chance of winning, because somewhere deep down, she knew Ronnie was telling the truth. But she buried that knowledge, placing layer and layer of thoughts on top of it until she didn't have to think about it any longer.

"What're you doin' back here, Ronnie?" Peggy asked, her voice becoming hard and cold at her niece badmouthing her husband.

Ronnie looked at her, shocked at the iciness of her words. "Don't worry, I won't be staying, I just came to give Amy her present." She placed the small pink parcel on the low coffee table and stood up from where she was sitting, making for the door.

"Ron, wait!" Ronnie stopped, sighing as she turned around to face her sister once again. "How long you staying for?"

"Not long, a few days max."

"You'll come back tomorrow, though, right?" She asked, practically begging Ronnie. "Right?" Roxy repeated, trying to get her sister to agree. No matter what had gone on between them, she couldn't deny how much she'd missed Ronnie in the time she'd been away. At first, a part of her had been relieved when she didn't have to see her in the Square, day in day out, she didn't have to face up to the guilt of what she had done. She should have known that she would feel it whether or not Ronnie was around.

Ronnie looked at her, the sadness and guilt so clear in Roxy's face. What was the point in punishing her any more than she already had? She wouldn't be able to forgive her little sister for what she had done, but she wasn't going to punish her anymore. Ronnie nodded, "Okay," she whispered, reaching out to her sister before Roxy came running over and embraced her tightly.

"I'm so sorry," Roxy told her, her voice thick with the tears that were falling freely down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Ron. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant for any of this to happen. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Ronnie held onto her tightly, the warmth of her body soothing her younger sister. "Shh, it's okay. It's okay. Shh, it'll be okay."

Archie stood in the doorway, watching as his two daughters were reunited once again. He smiled and walked into the living room. "My V, back again. You look beautiful."

Roxy felt her sister's body stiffen at the sound of their dad's voice. Hurriedly, Ronnie disentangled herself from their embrace and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I er, I er better go," she stated hastily, once again making for the door. Her father blocked her way.

"Not staying, Veronica?"

"I don't think so," she replied, her voice as icy as Peggy's had been only moments before. "Could you please move?"

Archie nodded, stepping aside so that she could leave. Father and daughter exchanged a last steely glance before Ronnie slipped out of the back of the Vic. She let out a deep rattling breath as she leant against the door to the cellar. The cold air instantly dried her damp cheeks, the winter wind whipping at them. What was Archie still doing there? She knew there might have been a chance she'd see him, but to talk to him? No, that was asking too much.

_But what did you expect, barging into the Vic like that? That was some entrance – these hormones are turning me into Roxy!_ She thought, walking through the deserted market and to her b'n'b. She'd lied to Roxy before, she wasn't here for a few days, just a few more hours. _You're making a habit of this, aren't you? Running away in the morning hours – it's what I do best._

"Ronnie?" A voice called out to her in the darkness, causing her to spin around and face the person the voice belonged to.

"Jack."


	3. Chapter 3

"Ronnie?" Jack asked again, as though repeating her name would make the vision in front of him that much more real. His eyes washed over her face before finally resting on her stomach. "You're pregnant?" Nothing could have shocked Jack more than the question that came out of his mouth just then.

Ronnie sighed, rolling her eyes a little. "No, I've just put on _a lot_ of weight," she replied sarcastically. Jack just looked at her, as though he hadn't heard her words. "I'm getting so sick of people asking questions they already know the answer to," she muttered, explaining her previous comment.

"Where've you been? You just left, no note, no message, nothing – you just left." Even as his voice rose in volume, Ronnie could detect the hurt beneath it.

Ronnie shook her head. "Can we not do this now, Jack? It's cold and it's late-"

"No, we're doin' this," he said, adamantly. There was no way she was slipping out of his life again.

She raised a perfectly arched eyebrow. "Oh we are, are we?"

Jack grabbed hold of her small hand and gently led her in the direction of his flat. Ten minutes later they were both sitting across from each other at his dinner table, each nursing a cup of tea and not uttering a word.

They'd been sitting in silence for what seemed like an eternity to Jack, especially since so many questions chased each other around in his head, each of them wanting to find it's way on to his lips. "Ron," he said softly, shattering the tense silence.

"Yeah?" She replied, not looking up from the depths of her mug.

"Am I the dad?" His heart was in his throat, painfully constricting with every breath he drew. _Please say 'yes', please tell me we're having a baby._ Jack silently begged whatever entity that could answer his prayer.

Ronnie slowly shook her head. "No."

That one word felt like a blade to his heart and with every beat it felt like the knife would be drawn out before being plunged even deeper within him. Jack sighed, running his hands over his face. "Right," he said, obviously trying to keep his emotions in check. "Right." The tense silence once again descended upon them, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

"I er, I should go," Ronnie said, still not looking at Jack.

"Don't," he gently took hold of her hand and held it firmly in his. "Don't go, stay."

His eyes pleaded with her, needing to be with her for a little while longer. He'd missed her so much these last few months, he could hardly believe it had only been nine months. Each day he'd wake up thinking about her, work in the club surrounded by memories of her, sometimes he'd even think he'd heard her and he'd rush out of the office expecting her to be there, but she never was.

Ronnie nodded "Okay."

"I've missed you, y'know?"

Ronnie just chuckled lightly. "I would've thought they'd be queuing up, you wouldn't have had time to miss me," she told him jokingly, but with a hint of a question in her voice. Had there been others in the time she'd been away? Had he moved on?

Jack shook his head. "You're the one I want, Ronnie – always have, always will. There hasn't been others, there's just been you."


	4. Chapter 4

Archie paced up and down the living room of the Vic. "She's _pregnant_?!" He kept on repeating. "How can she be pregnant?!"

Roxy rolled her eyes, getting tired of her dad's questions – he'd been at it for half an hour now, just repeating the same questions over and over, regardless of her replies. "Yes dad, she's pregnant."

"Well how far along is she?"

"Nine months," Roxy told her dad, a tinge of annoyance now tainting her voice.

"Nine months?! And she's been in Ibiza – what is she doing, flyingHH and when she's nine months pregnant? What is she trying to do – hurt the baby?" Archie ranted.

Roxy narrowed her eyes at him. "Ronnie would never do that!" She snapped at him.

Archie sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. He sat down next to his daughter and put an arm around her. "I know darling, I know that . . . it's just, I haven't seen her in so long, I've been worried sick, we all have. And I do know how much this baby means to her. It was just the shock really - my V, pregnant."

"Yeah," she said softly, snuggling into her dad's side and resting her head on his shoulder. _I can't believe she's pregnant again. She's had to go through everything alone. Why didn't she tell me? We used to know everything about each other, as soon as I'd done something, she knew – as though it was written all over my face. And she couldn't even tell me about this. What have I done to her?_

"Dad?" Roxy asked after a few moments.

"Yes darling?"

"Did you know Ronnie was leaving?"

"No, no, of course not sweetheart – I would've said something if I did, wouldn't I?"

"Yeah, I guess . . . but what about . . . what was said between you that night? When I came down and she left? What did you say?"

"That? That was nothing, she just had some things to get off her mind, that's all."

"Right. Okay." Roxy stared ahead of her, her eyes searing through the blank screen of the television as she tried to recall everything she knew about that night.

Meanwhile, back at the flat, Jack and Ronnie were still sitting in the same place. _Had he really just said that? Does he even mean it? Of course he doesn't, he slept with my sister for god's sake! How can he love me?_

"I love this time of night," Ronnie stated, trying to steer the conversation away from Jack's last confession. "It's the middle of the night and you feel like anything can happen . . . so is this one of those things? Where the night makes you brave and you can be anything and everything you've ever wanted to be. Is this that?"

Jack shook his head. "You know it's not. I love you – why won't you believe that?"

"Because you slept with my _sister_."


	5. Chapter 5

Jack visibly flinched as the words left her mouth and Ronnie instantly regretted them. She hadn't meant to hurt him, but he'd asked why and she had answered. That was the truth; whilst she could hold conversations with the both of them now, that didn't diminish the hurt and pain they both had inflicted upon her. Time didn't make that go away. No matter how much she wanted it to.

All those months away had shown her just what Roxy and Jack had meant to her. But it had almost compounded the hurt. And a part of her, a small part, had wanted Jack to come running after her. But he hadn't. He'd done what she'd asked him to – he'd let her go.

"I'm sorry."

"Isn't that my line?" He said, chuckling wryly, but instantly stopping as Ronnie let out a gasp and clutched her stomach. "What's wrong?" Jack asked, panicking.

Ronnie let out a small giggle, "Nothing, this little one's just kicking like crazy, here – feel," she told him, taking his hand and placing it on her baby bump.

Jack found himself smiling broadly as he felt a sharp pressure against the palm of his hand. "That one's gonna be a footballer all right."

"No thank you, they're gonna be a solicitor or a doctor or an engineer, not a career where getting a broken leg's par for the course." Jack just grinned at her, the role of a mum suited her perfectly. "What?" She asked as he kept grinning at her.

"Nothing, nothing."

"No, go on."

"It's just . . .you. I've never seen you this happy before. I can't believe you're gonna be a mum . . . "

Ronnie's smile slipped a little at his last comment. "I've been a mum for nearly twenty years Jack," she told him sadly.

Jack inwardly kicked himself for being so insensitive – how could he forget something like that? Especially since the memory of her confession was imprinted in his mind. "Ron, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"I know."

The silence descended upon the pair once again. But this time, Jack didn't allow it to settle for long. "Where did you go? Afterwards, I mean – 'cos I phoned your mate in Ibiza, she said you got the place up and running and then sold it on, but that was months ago, where've you been since?"

"Keeping tabs on me, Inspector Branning?" She asked him.

"Yeah, I am." He told her, nodding, not even trying to hide the fact. "So where you been Ronnie?"

"Spain for a while, then back to London."

"You've been here all along? Why didn't you-"

"We were done, Jack – what would be the point?"

"Nah," he countered. "We weren't done, nowhere near. What about that last night – what was that then?" He asked of her, quietly demanding an honest answer.

"That was goodbye."


	6. Chapter 6

"Goodbye?" Jack asked, repeating her words. "That was goodbye?" He kept repeating the word, as though hearing it more times would make him comprehend it's meaning.

Ronnie nodded, her eyes not meeting his. "I thought you'd understand that."

"Well, I didn't. I tell you I love you and we make love-"

"Make love?" Ronnie scoffed.

"Yes, make love. What would you call it then?" Jack challenged her.

She looked him straight in the eye before replying with: "Sex."

But Jack shook his head, refusing to accept her answer. "Nah, it's never just been sex, never – I know it and you know it."

Ronnie shook her head and got up from her seat. "This was a mistake, I shouldn't have come here."

"No, Ron-"

"Jack please don't do this," she pleaded with him, she didn't have the strength to keep on having the same argument. "I'm tired, Jack, I just wanna get back." There were so many things she wanted to get back to, but knew that she couldn't – she couldn't get her relationship with Roxy back, she couldn't get whatever the hell she had with Jack, she couldn't get that back. And most of all, she wouldn't ever be able to get her daughter back. So, for now, she would settle for just going back to the solitary life she'd been living for the best part of the last year.

"Stay here." Jack instantly replied, wanting to keep her close to him for as long as possible. "You can take the bed, I'll sleep out here. It's late Ron, you shouldn't be walking anywhere alone."

"I don't think that's a good idea . . ."

"It's 'cos you're not sticking around, isn't it?" Ronnie stayed silent, refusing to look him in the eye. Jack scoffed. "So, what was this? Just a flying visit, thought you'd dredge up all those old feelings again?" He couldn't believe her – how could she do this? How could she just breeze in and out of his life with no intention of sticking around, how could she do that when she knew how he felt about her?

"No, that's not it at all," she responded, but he carried on talking, not hearing her words.

"I thought I'd finally done it, I thought I'd finally learnt to live with not seeing you again. I put us in this little box and I buried it and every day I kept burying it, so I wouldn't have to feel the pain. Except it don't work like that, does it? It did with Selina, but not you – you're a stubborn one. 'Cos everywhere I went, everything I did, you were right here," he tapped the side of his head with his index finger. "I couldn't get rid, you got under my skin and you just wouldn't-"

Jack's rant came to an abrupt end when he felt Ronnie's lips pressed against his own. He let himself go for a moment, kissing her back before he pulled away slightly. "What-what-?"

"Just shut up and kiss me."


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning it took Jack a minute or two to remember the events of the previous night. Immediately he looked to his side, expecting to see Ronnie there. But she wasn't. Jack sighed, he'd known that it would be too good to be true. He knew she'd run.

Last night he'd just held her - kissed her and held her until she'd fallen asleep. He'd whispered everything he wanted to do for her, made her promises he'd do everything to keep and he'd talked about the tiny footballer in her stomach. And then he'd watched as she slept peacefully, completely enthralled by her, he'd not wanted to take his eyes off her for one moment.

Running his hands over his face, Jack slowly got out of bed, every moment he was awake was another moment he realised she'd left. Stepping into the kitchen area, he smiled.

"Thought I'd gone?" Ronnie asked, smiling up at him over the rim of her mug. Jack just continued to smile at her, a second before his heart had shattered beneath his chest, and now . . . now Ronnie was standing before him, beckoning him to go to her.

Wrapping his strong arms around her body, he gently rocked her side to side. "I love you."

"I love you too," she replied, finally saying the words she'd tried so hard not to. They both swayed together, content in their bubble of love. "What happens now?" Ronnie whispered, as though afraid if she talked too loudly their happiness would shatter.

"Whatever you want."

"Oh really?" She said, turning around to face him and putting her arms around Jack's neck. "If I'd've known I'd get my own way, I would've come back a lot sooner."

"Cheeky!"

"Did you expect anything else? . . . But seriously, what now? I mean, I have a life in South Kensington, a flat . . ." Even as the words left her mouth, Ronnie understood how lonely her life had been. She'd never really been one for friends, a bit of a loner really, and was all a flat she had in her life? _There's the bar as well, I suppose but . . . bars can be sold._

"Yeah, and you've got a club here."

"What?" Ronnie asked, confused.

"I never signed the papers for the sale, Ron. I never bought you out," Jack finally confessed.

"But what about the money – that didn't just come out of thin air."

"No, not thin air, just my bank account. I just . . . I thought if you had something here, you'd come back. I was gonna tell you about it straight after you left, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, to bring you back here when I saw what everything did to you." So many times he'd picked up the phone and rung her number, but never could he talk to her or leave a message, he'd just hang up before the call could connect. That's how he used to spend his evenings, staring at his phone until he plucked up the courage to call her. And then he'd hang up.

"I just wanted you to be happy, Ron."

"I am," she reassured him as she pulled him closer to her, or as close as she could get him with a nine month old baby bump between them. "I am happy. You and this baby – that's all I need."


	8. Chapter 8

Ronnie and Jack were cuddled against each other on the sofa, watching bad daytime TV and just talking. "I should probably go see Roxy, I said I would. And then I should get back."

"Back?" Jack asked, suddenly sitting upright. "What d'you mean? You're not staying? You're still going? I thought this was it, this was us?"

"Shh, calm down," Ronnie reassured him, taking her hand and caressing the back of his neck. "This is us and this is it. But I need to go back to pick up some clothes and stuff, I can't stay in your dressing gown all day, can I? I've got to go to the b'n'b and pick up the stuff I've left there and stuff from the flat as well." But Jack shook his head. "What?"

"Ron, you're nearly nine months pregnant – no way am I letting you lift a thing. I'll go get it all."

Ronnie smiled, normally she would've objected to anybody telling her what to do, but at this moment in time, it made her feel cared for. All the way through her pregnancy, she'd done it alone, she'd cared for herself and now Jack was worrying and caring for her. And that made her feel unbelievably safe.

"You won't know what to get," she told him, her voice soft and almost fragile.

"Well, you'll come with me and tell me what you need and then I'll do all the heavy lifting," he told her, the schoolboy grin already back on his face.

"Show off."

"Would you have me any other way?"

Ronnie giggled before leaning forwards and capturing Jack's lips with hers in a tender embrace.

More than a few hours later, Ronnie and Jack returned to the Square, Jack laden down with Ronnie's bags. Placing them in various rooms in the flat, he turned to Ronnie who stood in the kitchen with a strange look on her face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, walking over to her and hugging her from behind.

"It's just . . . the nursery, it was perfect and now I've left it behind . . ."

"Well, I'll just do you a new one in our new house," he replied, covering her neck in soft kisses.

"What?"

"Well, this flat's not big enough for the three of us, is it?"

"No, but Jack, this is . . .this is all too fast." A panicked feeling rose up within Ronnie, Jack had been so great, so kind and caring and she wanted more than anything to move in with him and be a family. But she couldn't right now, she needed to make sure they were strong enough to withstand anything as a couple before she would allow her unborn child to be a part of whatever they were. She owed it to them, and to herself, to be sure.

"I thought this was what you wanted?" he told her, obviously bemused by her sudden change in mind.

"It is, it is. But not so fast, we've only been back together a day."

"Okay."

"What?" Ronnie asked, shocked, she'd expected him to argue with her, to explain to her that there was no point in wasting time, they'd wasted so much already. But he hadn't.

"I said 'okay'. I get it Ron and I'm not gonna push you faster than you're capable of going, so if you say 'slow', we'll go slow. But when you're ready for the next step, just let me know, yeah?"


	9. Chapter 9

"You ready for this?" Jack asked as he and Ronnie stood outside the double red doors of the Vic.

"I'm gonna have to face him sooner or later, aren't I?"

"I'd prefer for you to do it later, though." He looked into her face, wanting so much to stop her from what she was about to do. He would've done anything to stop what was about to happen. But he couldn't, it wasn't in his power to do that.

Ronnie smiled, loving the way he took care of her. She sucked in a deep breath and nodded her head as she pushed open the doors and stepped inside. Jack followed behind her, quickly taking her hand in his as she made her way to the bar.

Roxy looked from her sister's glowing face to Jack and then to their clasped hands. "I don't believe this," she muttered to herself as a scowl appeared on her face.

"Ronnie! You're back!" Ben exclaimed, forgetting about the packet of crisps he was about to nab and rushing through to the bar. "Oh my gosh," he said once he'd seen her ever growing stomach. "Hi, Jack."

"Oh I've missed you," Ronnie gushed as she hugged him tightly.

"Alright Ron, let the poor boy breathe."

Ronnie quickly let go. "Sorry, sorry, it's the hormones. Erm, is my dad up there?"

Ben nodded "Yeah."

"Okay, I'm just gonna go up and see him, but I'll be down soon, yeah? Rox, I'll be down in a bit, I just need to speak to dad, okay?" Ronnie told her sister who was still scowling at Jack. Rolling her eyes, Ronnie went up to the back of the Vic.

"So . . . you guys back on, are you?" Roxy asked Jack, looking daggers at him.

"Looks that way, don't it?"

"And how'd d'you manage that? She left this place _hating_ you, how'd you wriggle your way back into her life?"

"She let me in, I didn't have to do any wriggling. We love each other, okay Rox, and there's nothing you can say or do that's gonna change that."

"No? I wouldn't bet on it," Roxy stated as her parting shot before she went over to the other side of the bar to serve Minty.

Ronnie carefully walked up the flight of stairs, making sure to grab hold of the banister and walk slowly. She couldn't afford to trip or fall, not if there was a chance it could hurt her baby.

"Veronica, twice in two days? What've I done to deserve that pleasure?" Archie asked, stepping out of the kitchen and standing at the top of the stairs.

Ronnie's heart felt as though it's beat had tripled in the last few seconds. She didn't know why, but she was petrified of what she was about to hear. It was as though she could feel an earthquake coming, she could feel the tremors but she was the only one that could.

"We need to talk," Ronnie simply stated, walking into the living room.

"Yes, we do," Archie replied, following her and firmly shutting the door behind him. "So, V, what is it you need to get off your chest?"

"I want you to tell me where my daughter is."


	10. Chapter 10

Ronnie felt something snap inside of her, she curled her fingers around the nearest object to hand and flung it at her father. Archie ducked in the nick of time as glass rained down against the wall. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He demanded of her, his voice low and deadly.

"Tell me where she is!" Ronnie screamed as Phil flung open the door to the living room.

"What's goin' on 'ere?" He asked, his eyes passing over his obviously upset cousin, a cool Archie and the shattered glass on the floor. "Archie?"

"Nothing, Phil. Just some father-daughter business, that's all."

"Ronnie? You okay?"

Ronnie breathed heavily, trying to drag as much air into her lungs as possible. "Tell me where she is!" She demanded once again, not hearing Phil's question and not even realising that he'd even come into the room, she was that wrapped up in the exchange between herself and her father. "Tell me where Amy is!"

"She's in her bedroom, sleeping. Although, for how long I don't know, what with all this noise." Archie smirked at his daughter, knowing just how distraught she was becoming at his non-compliance. Oh yes, he knew how to play her just as well as he had always done.

Phil looked from Archie to Ronnie and back again, unsure of exactly what was going on between the two. The air between them was static with unspoken words and untold truths. Something was wrong, he at least knew that much. But what? And why was Ronnie crying?

He'd never seen her cry before, not once in all the time she'd lived at the Vic. He'd seen her angry, seen her shout and scream, be drunk even, but not cry. And Archie had done that to her.

"NO! Where is MY Amy? Where is MY daughter?!" Ronnie screamed at him, a second away from pummelling him with her tiny fists. Tears streamed down her face, but this time she let them fall. For so long she'd been holding everything inside, not allowing the pain to fall out of her, but she couldn't hold it in any longer, it had to come out and he had to see the consequences of his cruel actions.

"Daughter?" Phil's gruff voice finally broke through Ronnie's barrier of emotion. She turned to him, startled and confused, like a small child that had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar when they'd specifically been told 'No biscuits'. "Ronnie?"

Ronnie shook her head, silently begging him to not make her explain now, she had just about enough strength to make it through this exchange with her father, she didn't have any to recount how her daughter had been ripped from her arms.

"Just tell me where she is and I'll go!" Ronnie exclaimed. "Just tell me where my baby girl is!" She begged, she didn't care whether he won or not now, she didn't care about any of that. She just needed to know where her little girl was buried and she would do anything to find out.

Phil felt his own heart constrict painfully as he heard the agony in Ronnie's voice. He'd been her for the last six years. "Why don't you just tell 'er, eh?" He found himself saying before he could stop himself. His cousin looked to him, a grateful expression upon her face. He gave her a slight nod, letting her know that he was on her side.

Archie narrowed his eyes at Phil, the icy veneer returning to his eyes. "There's nothing to tell. I don't know where she is. Now if you don't mind, Peggy needs a hand downstairs." He replied coolly, slowly walking past his daughter and Phil, the shards of glass crunching under his steps.

"No!" Ronnie cried out, breaking down in sobs as her father left the room.

Phil watched her for a moment, unsure of what to do before he walked over to her and hugged her close to him. "Shh," he told her, trying to comfort her as best he could.

"I just want to know where she is, Phil. I just want to see her."


	11. Chapter 11

Ten minutes later, Phil and Ronnie were sitting in the kitchen, Ronnie staring into her untouched cup of sweet tea and Phil looking at his broken cousin. "You wanna tell me what that was all about?" He asked her, but she gave no response. "Is that why you've been like this with him all this time?" Still no response. "Ronnie, I can't help if you don't talk to me."

"No-one can help, Phil."

"That's not true."

"Isn't it?" Ronnie asked of him, looking him square in the face. "She's dead. My baby girl is dead. Fell in the bath, hit her head, drowned. Can you help?" Her voice was monotonous, void of all emotion; it was as though it had all seeped out of her with every tear she had cried.

"What?" Phil asked, confused by everything he had heard and seen.

"Why won't he tell me, Phil?" She closed her eyes, trying to block everything out, and a lone tear slipped from beneath her lip and trickled down her cheek. "All I want is to see her grave, but I don't even know her name. I don't even know my daughter's name," She cried, as sobs wracked her body. "How pathetic is that? I don't even know her name. I don't know her name. He knows but he won't tell me and I'm her mum! Her _mum_ and I don't know her name."

Phil looked at her sadly, finally knowing exactly why she had never wanted Archie to infiltrate their lives. _Why won't he tell her? What has he got to lose? I would do anything I could to stop Louise or Ben from being in pain and I'd hate myself if I caused 'em any – so why won't he tell her?_

"Ron, Jack's asking- What's goin' on?" Roxy asked as she walked into the kitchen to see her sister crying and Phil just watching her helplessly. "Ronnie?" She knelt down by her sister's side, gently taking a hand in hers and rubbing the back of it with her thumb. "What's wrong?"

Ronnie shook her head and tried to smile through her tears. "Nothing, nothing. You know what it's like at this stage of the pregnancy, my hormones are all over the place."

Roxy looked from her sister to Phil, not believing a word of it. "Okay," she replied. "Jack's asking for you and p.s. we need to talk about that later, yeah."

Ronnie nodded, not really listening to the words Roxy had spoken. "Right. Erm, tell him I'll be down in a minute, yeah?"

"Okay," Roxy whispered. "I love you," she stated unexpectedly, giving Ronnie's cheek a kiss. Ronnie accepted the affectionate gesture, but she couldn't reciprocate, not just yet anyway.

Once Roxy had left the kitchen, Phil spoke. "We'll find her, Ron."

"She's gone, Phil. She's gone."

But Phil shook his head. "We'll find her."


	12. Chapter 12

Phil sat in the living room, the only light illuminating the dark room coming from the orange glow of the streetlight. He stared at the shattered glass opposite him, glinting when the light caught the sharp edges. The loud music and voices from the bar filtered into the room, but couldn't penetrate his thoughts.

Roxy stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, just watching him curiously. She had no idea what had gone on between Ronnie and Phil an hour before, had no idea what had been said, but she sure as hell was going to find out. Stepping into the living room, she sat on the sofa opposite her cousin, staring at him until she got his attention.

"What?" Phil asked gruffly.

"You wanna tell me what that was all about?"

"Dunno what you're talkin' about," he replied, trying to fob her off.

"No! Everyone around here keeps having these confrontations with Ronnie and nobody, _nobody_, will tell me what has been said! I am the closest person to her, I should know."

"If you hadn't slept with her boyfriend, maybe she would've told you!" Phil retorted, fed up of Roxy's attitude. Roxy scoffed, obviously hurt by his comments. "Rox, I didn't mean that, but this ain't about you – it's about Ronnie."

"Don't you think I know that?"

"Well how 'bout you try and remember it, eh? And what're you doin'?"

"What?" Roxy asked, confused by his sudden anger.

"Ronnie's been back for two days now and you haven't been round there **once**! You should've been on yer hands and knees begging her forgiveness. You're lucky she's even speaking to you-"

"Don't get all high and mighty on me 'cos I know you're no better," she retorted spitefully.

"What're you talkin' 'bout?" Phil looked over to his cousin, a dangerous look in her eye.

"Sharon Watts."

The name of Phil's former lover hung in the air between them. He felt his heart hammer in his chest, the guilt ripping through his veins. _Don't you dare bring up Dennis!_ Phil thought, his mind already sweeping back to the night he had sealed the fate of Sharon's husband and the father of her then unborn baby.

"What about her?" He asked, trying to keep the edge of out his voice and maintain a level of nonchalance.

"Forgotten about your affair already?" Phil sighed, the relief instantly washing over him; it was okay, she didn't know the truth. "And she was your brother's _wife_!"

"You don't know what you're talkin' 'bout," he stated, wanting to put an end to this conversation sooner rather than later.

"Don't I?"

"Nah, you don't." And with that as a parting shot, Phil left the room, leaving Roxy in the darkness, alone with her guilt.


	13. Chapter 13

Roxy cradled her daughter in her arms, rocking her into a gentle slumber. She looked into Amy's face, watching as she moved her lips slightly or crinkled her nose, even the way her lips parted as she let out a breath of air. "You're perfect, you know that?" Roxy whispered to her sleeping infant as she lowered her into the cot and placed a blanket over her.

Sitting at the end of her bed, Roxy stared straight in front of herself, her ice blue eyes boring a hole into the wall opposite. "She's back," Roxy whispered, "Ronnie's back. And pregnant." Closing her eyes, she felt the tears creeping out from behind her closed lids. _Why didn't she tell me? After Amy, what must she have felt when she did the test? And when she found out the result? How did she find out? And all the scans and the hospital appointments – who went with her to those? Did the dad? Whoever he is? And why isn't he running after her now? Does he even know? And why the hell don't I?_

_I'm her sister. I should know these things._

Reaching over for her phone, Roxy flipped it open and scrolled through her phonebook until she reached a familiar number. She hit the 'call' button, anxiously waiting for the other person to pick up, but was dismayed when the call failed to connect. She kept forgetting Ronnie had changed her number.

The bedroom door opened slightly to reveal Peggy. "You alright, sweetheart?" She asked.

"Yeah," Roxy replied, obviously not. Peggy looked at her niece for a moment before sitting down beside her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"And I'm the Queen of Sheba. Now come on, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing, nothing. . . it's just that . . ."

"What is it, darling? Has Ronnie said something to you?" Roxy shook her head. "Then what's wrong?"

"I don't even know her phone number," she finally whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "She's my sister and I didn't hear anything for nine months and she's pregnant and she never told me. I don't even know her phone number." Roxy furiously wiped the tears from her eyes, but they fell too fast for her to wipe them away.

"Darling, I know that hurts, but . . . "

"What?" Roxy asked, furrowing her brow.

"What you did, do you expect to be treated any different?"

"But I-"

"No, no 'buts'. I know how much it hurt you – what happened to Sean and then Amy going missing, but you're forgetting that Ronnie's the one that was hurt the most. You're her sister and you betrayed her-"

"Aunty Peg."

"No, no, let me finish. You betrayed her. You're her sister and you slept with the man she's in love with. You knew how she felt, you knew what he meant to her – whether they were together or not is irrelevant – you still knew. And if that wasn't bad enough, you have a daughter with that same man; the man she's in love with, the man she probably thought about having babies with. And then you named her 'Amy' and I know that you did that as a special thing, to show how much she meant to you and how much you love her, but that was her baby's name. And now every time she hears that name, she not only thinks about the baby she lost, but the baby that she should have had with the man she loves. The baby that you had."


	14. Chapter 14

Peggy stopped to take a breath, not realising just how much empathy she felt for Ronnie. After all, hadn't she been in a similar position with her best friend and her ex husband?

Roxy bit into the cushion of her bottom lip, finally facing the reality of what she had done. "I didn't mean to."

"But you did. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't mean, you still did it, you still hurt her. And I think . . . you don't love him, you're not in love with Jack. That night you went to the club, you coulda gone with any bloke there, but you chose Jack-"

"I didn't _choose_ him," she exclaimed, exasperated.

"Yes you did. You went to him, didn't you? And at the end of the day, you could've stopped it at any time, but you chose not to." Peggy looked at Roxy, knowing that this was the first time she had been held accountable for her actions. "She loves him, you didn't. And you went to him to hurt her. Now I'm not saying you planned for it to happen, I'm just saying that it happened and you hurt her in the worst possible way."

"She won't be able to forgive me, will she?"

Peggy shrugged. "I don't know the answer to that, darlin'. Ronnie probably doesn't know either, but she's here, isn't she? And she's trying, so that's a good sign."

"She forgave Jack."

"Only Ronnie can know why she did that, but . . . maybe she loves him more than she can hate him . . .Goodnight sweetheart." Peggy gave her niece another squeeze before leaving Roxy in the darkness of the room, alone with her thoughts.

Roxy let out a deep breath as she picked up her phone once again, this time dialling a number she had grown to resent. On the second ring, the phone was answered. "What is it?" Asked a panic voice. "Is Amy okay?"

"Yes, she's fine," Roxy replied testily.

"Then why are you calling me?" Jack asked, bemused and annoyed at Roxy's intrusion into his life.

"I want to speak to Ronnie." She told him, a demand more than a request.

Jack thought for a moment, listening to Ronnie's quiet sobs coming from the bedroom. "No."

"What?!"

"I said 'no'. She don't need you right now and I'm not havin' you upset her any more than she already is-"

"She's my _sister_ – you can't keep her from me!" She shouted down the phone at him.

"Watch me. Don't you think you and your dad have put her through enough today? Now I'm gonna hang up and take care of her and I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure Archie or you don't ever make her cry again."


	15. Chapter 15

The next morning, Jack was in the kitchen preparing a cup of tea when the buzzer incessantly went off. Sighing, he put the teaspoon back down and went to open the door. "What is it?" He asked, annoyed as Phil stepped into his flat. "Philip, what can I do for yer?"

"It's not for me," Phil retorted, dropping his keys into the counter so they made a loud, clattering noise.

"Will you keep it down, Ronnie's been tossing and turning all night and she needs her rest."

"Sorry," Phil replied, actually meaning it. "Speaking of Ronnie, it's for her."

"What is?"

"I need a favour . . . Or Ronnie does."

Jack looked at him curiously – why was Phil Mitchell coming to _him_ for help? And what exactly did that have to do with the woman that lay sleeping in his bed? "Well, ain't this a surprise?" A small smile played on his lips.

"This is for Ronnie, no-one else." Phil tried to reign in his pride, knowing that if he got angry at Jack's arrogance, he'd be even less likely to help him. "I need you to find someone. A little girl. Ronnie's little girl."

The smile instantly fell from Jack's face, instead lying shattered on the ground at his feet. "What are you talkin' about?"

Phil started to grow increasingly exasperated by Jack's stupidity. "Look, can we just put all this to one side and just help 'er? She was in _pieces_ last night, Jack, I've never seen 'er like that before."

"I know," Jack said, pointedly, after all he'd been the one to dry her tears and rock her to sleep that night. She'd felt so fragile and vulnerable in his arms that he'd thought if he held onto her too tightly, she might break.

"So you know what has to be done? You know we have to find that little girl." But Jack shook his head. "What?"

"She would've been twenty this year."

"Twenty?!" His shock apparent in his voice.

"Yeah. And don't you think I've tried? What do you think I've been doing every day since she told me? Digging through adoption records, death records, birth records, even going through the census for the last twenty years. But we don't even know her name – I can't even find Ronnie's names on any adoption records; Archie musta made her use different ones. I've looked, Phil, for the last year I've looked – everything's sealed or confidential, only Archie and the adoptive parents know where she is and he ain't exactly talkin', is he?" The bitterness and fury lined the words Jack voiced, his disgust at Archie's behaviour towards his daughter as apparent as the Winter sun in the sky outside.

Phil sighed, running a hand over his bald head. "So, what now?"

"We keep at it. You work on Archie, get whatever information you can, anything – big or small – it could help. And I'll keep looking."

"We'll find her."

"We have to." The two men looked each up and down as an unlikely alliance formed between the previously sworn enemies.


End file.
